George Carlin Quotes

george-carlin-quotes-2 Authors

“America prays for God to destroy our enemies.
Our enemies pray for God to destroy us.
Somebody is gonna be disappointed.
Somebody is wasting their !@#$%^* time.
Could it be everyone?”

~ George Carlin

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“There’s a humorous side to every situation.
The challenge is to find it.”

~ George Carlin

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Thought for the Day

“The real reason that we can’t  have
the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:

You cannot post
‘Thou shalt not steal,’
‘Thou shalt not commit adultery,’
and ‘Thou shalt not lie’
in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians.
It creates a hostile work environment.”

~ George Carlin

Thought for the Day

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions
is like trying to satisfy hunger
by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

~ George Carlin
(1937-2008)

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Thought for the Day

See also  Dalai Lama Quotes

“‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence
in the English language.
Could it be that
‘I do’ is the longest sentence?”

~ George Carlin
(1937-2008)

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Thought for the Day

“Dusting is a good example
of the futility of trying to put things right.
As soon as you dust,
the fact of your next dusting
has already been established.”

~ George Carlin

“Fighting for peace
is like screwing for virginity.”

See also  Napoleon Hill Quotes

~ George Carlin

Thought for Today

“Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies,
insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain’s majesty
above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs,
from sea to oily sea.”

~ George Carlin

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