Humor

Thought for the Day “If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.” ~ Doug Larson

Thought for the Day “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” ~ Author Unknown

Thought for the Day “Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? ~ Author Unknown

Thought for the Day “The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.” ~ Bill Nye (1955-) *William Sanford “Bill”

Thought for the Day “Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” ~ Author Unknown

Thought for the Day “Don’t follow in my footsteps. I think I stepped in something.” ~ Author Unknown

Thought for the Day “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” ~ Lucille Ball *Lucille Désirée Ball Born: August

“You live but once; you might as well be amusing.” ~ Coco Chanel Gabrielle “Coco” Bonheur Chanel (August 19, 1883 – January 10, 1971) was a French fashion

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” ~ Benjamin Franklin Benjamin Franklin (January 17, 1706 – April 17, 1790) was one of the Founding Fathers

Thought for the Day “Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’

Thought for the Day “‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?

Thought for the Day “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” ~ Ronald Reagan (1911-2004)

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” ~ Rita Rudner Rita Rudner (born September

Thought for the Day “If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” ~ George Gobel George Leslie Gobel (May 20, 1919 –