Humor
“Life is little more than a loan shark: It exacts a very high rate of interest for the few pleasures it concedes. ~ Luigi Pirandello Luigi Pirandello (June
Thought for the Day “Fish and guests in three days are stale” ~ John Lyly *John Lyly (Lilly or Lylie) (c. 1553 or 1554 – November 1606) an English writer
Thought for the Day “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” ~ Earl Wilson (1934-2005) *Robert Earl Wilson (born
Thought for the Day “Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.” ~ Francis Bacon
Thought for the Day “USA Today has come out with a new survey apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.” ~ David Letterman
Thought for the Day “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” ~ Red Skelton (1913-1997) *Richard Bernard “Red” Skelton Born
“If your wife wants to get a cat and you want to get a dog instead, compromising does not mean you go and get two cats.” ~ Dante Shepherd (Surviving the
Thought for the Day “The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” ~ Robert Bloch
“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” – Groucho Marx Julius Henry “Groucho” Marx (October 2, 1890 – August
Thought for the Day “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
“The word ‘good’ has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot
Thought for the Day “He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher… or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.” ~ Douglas Adams (1952-2001) Douglas
“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.” ~ Orson Welles George Orson Welles (May 6, 1915 – October 10, 1985) was an American actor
“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” ~ Mark Twain Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21
“There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.” ~ Salvador Dali Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto