“America prays for God to destroy our enemies.
Our enemies pray for God to destroy us.
Somebody is gonna be disappointed.
Somebody is wasting their !@#$%^* time.
Could it be everyone?”
~ George Carlin
“Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
~ George Carlin
Thought for the Day
“The real reason that we can’t have
the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:
You cannot post
‘Thou shalt not steal,’
‘Thou shalt not commit adultery,’
and ‘Thou shalt not lie’
in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians.
It creates a hostile work environment.”
Thought for the Day
“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions
is like trying to satisfy hunger
by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
~ George Carlin
(1937-2008)
Thought for the Day
“If black boxes survive air crashes,
why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?”
~ George Carlin
(1937-2008)
Thought for the Day
“Most people work just hard enough
not to get fired and
get paid just enough money not to quit”
~ George Carlin
(1937-2008)
Thought for the Day
“‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence
in the English language.
Could it be that
‘I do’ is the longest sentence?”
~ George Carlin
(1937-2008)
Thought for the Day
“The reason I talk to myself is because
I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
Thought for the Day
“Dusting is a good example
of the futility of trying to put things right.
As soon as you dust,
the fact of your next dusting
has already been established.”
Thought for the Day
“I do this real moron thing,
it`s called thinking, and
I`m not a very good American
because I like to form my own opinions.”
Thought for the Day
“Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.”
Thought for Today
“Honesty may be the best policy,
but it’s important to remember that apparently,
by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy”
“Have you ever noticed that
anybody driving slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
Thought for Today
“Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies,
insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain’s majesty
above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs,
from sea to oily sea.”
Thought for Today
“Where does stuff go when it dies,
does it go to stuff heaven?”
~George Carlin~
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