Why a Person Becomes Dependent on His Significant Other and How to Get Rid of It

Person Misc

Emotional addiction is a painful situation that makes a person suffer. And it’s not only situations when you cannot stop betting via a 22Bet login. It’s also about being addicted to a particular person. A partner, parent, or spouse is important to the addicted person: their emotional state depends on that person’s opinions, words, and actions. Such an addiction is internally devastating and doesn’t allow one to become happy. 

How Dependence Manifests Itself 

Emotional dependence manifests itself in the fact that the person cannot imagine his life without the object of adoration. He is happy if the person he is addicted to communicates with him. He is happy when he can do something for him, and unhappy when the object of his love doesn’t communicate with him. Such an addiction is usually formed in people with an emotional structure of existence. These people have the strongest attachments: they experience their emotions and feelings deeply, and then suffer from addiction. Dependence is always accompanied by the fear of losing a significant other, and addicted people try to control every step of their partner.

 Dependence can manifest itself in different ways. In complicated cases, it turns into an obsession and the person forgets about himself, cannot take care of himself, eats and sleeps badly. He spends all his vitality on the object of his obsession. Both the person who is addicted and the person on whom his attention is directed suffer in this case.

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Dependent people lose their sense of personal boundaries: they leave no space for the person they love. It must be understood that such a relationship has nothing to do with love. Moreover, this form of behavior prevents the development of normal, full, healthy love relationships. 

Types of Emotional Dependence 

Dependence can be sacrificial. Thus, dependence on an aggressive partner is common. A person suffers humiliation, sometimes beatings, lives in unbearable conditions for him, but at the same time blames himself for everything. Even the harshest attitude cannot sober him up. Therapists say that such sacrificial behavior is typical of people who experienced abuse in childhood, suffered from the coldness of parents. A person tries to fill that long-standing mental emptiness, and therefore does not resist the rough treatment of himself, believing that he deserved it, that he himself is to blame. To be free of this form of addiction, it’s necessary to work through childhood traumas with a specialist and stop communicating with people from the position of the victim. 

Another type of addiction is from tumultuous emotions. In this case, a person feels the need not so much for his partner as for those passionate vivid emotions, even suffering and mental anguish, which he experiences in love. Such behavior is peculiar to people with a sense of the meaninglessness of their existence. Ordinary romantic relationships do not produce the emotions and experiences that addictive relationships do. The suffering that creates an addiction allows them to forget about everyday life. The person lives only for these emotions. 

How to Break Free From Addiction 

The first step is to understand that perceiving love as the only thing worth living for and without which your life has no meaning is destructive. Being addicted to your partner will never allow you to build a healthy, strong relationship. Accepting your own addiction is the hardest but most important step on the road to healing. You have to accept that such an attitude makes not only you suffer, but also your partner: a person’s psyche, his peace of mind is broken when he is “deprived of oxygen”, when it is as if he is suffocated with love.

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The second step is to establish a relationship with yourself, to find harmony within yourself. It often happens that a person is so immersed in an addictive relationship that they shut themselves off from the world around them and forget that there are people and life, not just a partner. 

An addicted person needs to find themselves, their feelings and emotions again. In an addicted relationship, there is rarely true love, both for the partner and for yourself. Tell yourself that you deserve the best, you are loved and appreciated by friends and family, you have good health, you can overcome addiction. Frequently praise yourself, instill confidence, invent and repeat the phrases that will help you accept yourself as a strong, independent, happy person. Find something that gives you joy. It can be good food, sports, shopping, and meeting with friends. Any means is good to make up for the lack of love, learn to please and love yourself. It is not uncommon to find that addiction takes such destructive forms, that the person ceases to feel anything. His state of mind and his feelings are so painful that he suppresses them. In this case, work through the old traumas, become aware of what is going on, and finally get rid of the addiction.

Here are other methods to deal with this problem: 

  • Accept responsibility for yourself. Don’t expect your partner to alleviate your suffering, fill your mental emptiness, or make you happy. Take responsibility for your life, your feelings and emotions for yourself. Your condition should not depend entirely on your partner. 
  • Stop fantasizing. No need to attribute to your partner merits that he does not. He is not your “god”, but a living ordinary man with his own advantages and disadvantages. You don’t have to invent and speculate for him. 
  • Don’t let fear rule you. Addiction is an oppressive, corrosive feeling, the fear of being abandoned. Tell yourself you are doing well, you are safe. 
  • Think about the consequences. If you want to call your partner, something to say, blame something, argue, then first think about the consequences of these actions. Never let emotions control you. Always think first about what your actions will lead to. 
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Love is a feeling that must first be born within you, to yourself, before you can give it to another person. Separate yourself, your personality from the relationship you are in, value yourself regardless of what happens between you and your partner

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