Hello this is Bob

hello-this-is-bob-2 Humor

One lazy, rainy, Sunday afternoon I decided to give my old friend John a call. I dialed the number and after about ten rings, a sleepy, groggy voice answered. Feeling a little embarrassed that I had woken my friend I said, “John, did I wake you?” A stern angry reply came back and nearly knocked me off my chair, “Hell yes you woke me, and this isn’t John, this is Bob, why don’t you morons get your numbers right before you make a call.” Then there was a click as he hung up the phone.

Afterwards I looked at the digital readout on my phone and sure enough, I had misdialed, by one number. The more I thought about it the madder I got at Bob for being such a jerk. Finally, I decided I could not let this go without a little revenge, I hit the redial button, and after a couple of rings a voice answered, “Hello” I replied, “hello, is this Bob?” “Yes it is” came his reply. I said, “Well Bob, you’re a jackass” and I hung up.

Now that felt pretty good so I entered his number into my speed dial for future reference. And it did come in handy as a couple of weeks later I was having a bad day and needed to vent, just as I was about to dial Bobs number I got to thinking, what if he has caller ID, it would ruin my fun if he could find out who I was.

So I dialed his number and when he answered I said, “Good day to you sir, Is this Bob?” “Yes it is” he replied. I said “Bob this is Andy with the phone company and I was wondering if anyone has contacted you about our called ID service?” angrily he replied, “Hell no I’m not interested in your stupid service and don’t call here again.” And with a slam he hung up. I called Bob back and when he answered I said, “Hello Bob?” “Yes” he replied, I said “Bob, you’re a jackass” and hung up.

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As the months went by I had a lot of fun harassing Bob but the fun was wearing off. One day, instead of calling Bob I decided to go the mall and do some people watching. The parking lot was crowded and I spotted someone leaving so I waited for them to pull out of their parking space so I could pull in. Just as they were pulling clear and I was about to pull in, this little red sports car cut me off and pulled into the parking space. I honked my horn and yelled to the guy that I was waiting for that space, the young punk just ignored me as he trotted towards the mall.

Angry, I thought of Bob and thought I would go home and give him a call. As I was pulling past the red sports car I noticed a for sale sign in the back window, I jotted down the number and came on back home.

After a few hours I decided it was time for some phone fun, but instead of calling Bob I dialed the number on the sports car. After a few rings a voice said “Hello” I said “Hello, are you the guy with the little red sports car?” “Yes” he replied. “I would like to come take a look at it if I may” I said. “Sure” he replied, “When would you like to come?” I can come this evening” I said, “What is your name and address?” He said “I am Carl and I live at 111 First Ave.” “I’ll be there shortly” I said, and hung up the phone.

I then hit my trusty speed dial and called my old friend Bob, when he answered I said, “Hello is this Bob?” “Yes it is” he replied, I said “Bob, you’re a jackass.” But I didn’t hang up. After a brief silence Bob said, “Who the hell is this, and why do you keep calling me?” I said, “Bob, you’re a jackass.” Again, I didn’t hang up. Bob said, “You know, one of these days I’m gonna find out who you are, and when I do I’m gonna kick your ass!” “Oh really” I replied, “Why wait for one of these days, why not right now? I’m home, why don’t you bring your sissy ass on over and we’ll see who’s gets kicked.”

See also  Thursday December 31st 2015

Well this really pissed ole Bob off and screaming in to the phone he said, “Okay, who the hell are you and where do you live?” So I kindly replied, “Fine come on over you puny little punk, My name is Carl, and I live at 111 First Ave.” And I hung up.

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