“It is not fair to ask of others
what you are not willing to do yourself.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

*Anna Eleanor Roosevelt

Born October 11, 1884 New York, New York
Died November 7, 1962 (aged 78) New York, New York

First Lady of the United States from 1933 to 1945. She supported the New Deal policies of her husband, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and became an advocate for civil rights. After her husband’s death in 1945, Roosevelt continued to be an internationally prominent author, speaker, politician, and activist for the New Deal coalition. She worked to enhance the status of working women, although she opposed the Equal Rights Amendment because she believed it would adversely affect women.

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“The direct use of force
is such a poor solution to any problem,
it is generally employed
only by small children and large nations.”

~ David Friedman

“This is the final test of a gentleman:
his respect for those who can be
of no possible service to him.”

William Lyon Phelp

“Good manners will open doors
that the best education cannot.”

~ Clarence Thomas

~ Joan Bourque

Sometime back I wrote a piece titled “How Do You Define Respect?” This is where I first met Joan Bourque. She left me a touching comment that propelled me to visit her website, ArtfulOceans.org. I was so moved and impressed with what I saw that I asked her to write her story so that I could share it with all of you.

From the desk of Joan Bourque

I help kids paint murals. That’s what I do to earn a living. I actually get paid to do this. It’s not a hard job, it’s an all consuming job, with wholesome rewards of which I could not live without.

Each day I do this, I get to watch miracles unfold. Artistic expression at the hands of kids rolls off their brushes and explodes onto a wall of their school or their community, a wall bigger than themselves and out there for the world to see. Well, their world anyway.

I begin my job by showing them how and why I love to paint. “When you have something that’s very important to you, you can’t help but want to shout it from the rooftops,” I tell them. That’s easy for me to say because my passion is preserving the beauty of the ocean and that includes dolphins and sharks. It’s easy to get their attention with pictures and stories of me in the ocean with these awesome animals.

Next, I reach into their hearts to find their passion, what is important to them. Oftentimes the overall theme of the mural is predetermined. Many schools like to support their ongoing education of the Pillars of good Character; Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring and Citizenship being the most noted.

I might ask them, “What does Respect look like to you?” Timidly, their answers reveal wonders to me and I write each one down on a big piece of paper in the front of the room. “Giving someone what they need” listening when someone is talking to you” “Smiling” “Offering to help” “Opening the door for your friend” “Sharing”

Next I asked them to “show me”. I ask 3 kids to pretend or play act a scene that shows respect. While they are planning their presentation, I choose a photographer and a stage manger, whose job it is to photograph the one part of the scene that best shows the act of respect. An example might be kids picking up trash on the beach, showing respect for the earth. OK, maybe I’ve influenced them a bit. Another example has been on the soccer field, when an opponent is down in score, a player will still offer to help them up after a fall. A sample classroom scene would include students raising their hands to show respect for the teacher. How great is that?

Children often want to include in their murals a variety of environments, jungles are a favorite, so they tell of stories where some animals respect other animal’s territory.

All of these images open the door to teach painting techniques without laborious lessons and practice. We head right for the wall to draw and paint. When you’re painting with a school of 500 students, a mural can go up in about a week or two. I like to leave time in between those weeks for reflection and appreciation. I mean,, let’s savor the moments.

My mid mural review has me taping our original idea paper up next to the mural. Are we doing what we talked about? Are we remaining true to our ideas on Respect? Are there any new ideas that you’ve thought of since we first discussed this? Have any of you been practicing respect more since we’ve begun the mural?

I reread their original words, they add some more and then I ask them, “Do you respect yourselves?”

Silence. Curiosity. Then hands in the air. I ask them, “How do you respect yourself?” And the process continues.

I’m sure there’s a thought for the day in here. Respecting yourself means showing others what’s in your heart, respecting others means listening to what’s in theirs.

Joan’ latest murals can be seen here

http://web.mac.com/joanlou/iWeb/Site%202/Tuscano%20paints.html

I truly hope you enjoyed reading Joans story as much as I did. If you did let her know by leaving her a comment below. You can contact Joan directly by Clicking Here.

If you would like to see more stories like this, or if you know someone that you think would like to share their story please let me know by leaving a comment below or click here to contact me.

Thanks Joan for sharing you story and for what has now become my favorite quote on respect.

]]> http://homeinsteaders.org/thought-for-the-day-06-16-09/feed/ 2 http://homeinsteaders.org/how-do-you-define-respect/ http://homeinsteaders.org/how-do-you-define-respect/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:34:21 +0000 Charley http://homeinsteaders.org/?p=179 Quote of the Day

“Men are respectable
only as they respect”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thought of the Day
My young friend Tony and I were having a discussion the other day. In my know-it-all behavior I was lecturing him on respect. I was explaining to him that at times he displayed a disrespectful attitude. With a perplexed look on his face he looked and me and exclaimed, “Maybe we both have different definitions on respect.” Now I was perplexed, no one had ever made me think of that before. He made a valid point, respect is a broad term and each individual will have his or her own definition.

I decided to look up respect in the dictionary, respect: To hold in high regard; esteem, to show honor; courtesy; consideration; a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation. As you can see these definitions are pretty broad. What I may see as honor or esteem, you may see entirely differently. So I think the first step in respect is understanding that we are all different, that in and of itself is respect.

I also believe that respect is not a given, rather it is earned. I will show you respect if you are an elder, policeman, doctor, etc… However, for you to gain and keep my respect as a person, you will have to earn it.

For most the meaning of respect is to treat others the way you want them to treat you. I like to look at it another way, do not treat others in a way that you would not want to be treated.

I can curse like a sailor, (No disrespect towards Sailors) I have often wondered why so many find these words offensive. However, I do respect that there are those who do and I refrain from cursing in their presence.

So what is your definition of respect? I would love to read some of your ideas.

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“When we show our respect for other living things,
they respond with respect for us.”

~ Native American Proverb
Arapaho